Battlefield Comiket
by Omegahugger
Summary: Breaking into Comiket is no small matter. The three otaku of Ryou High learn this the hard way as they challenge the might of Comiket security. An entry for the third MSFL fanfic writing challenge.


**Author's Notes: **

**Hi again! This is my entry for the third MLSF fanfic challenge. The topic was: **_Konata, Patty, and Hiyori sneak into Comiket the night before it opens._** I was under a bit of time pressure, and as such my beta didn't get to read through this one. Therefore, expect more grammar and mispellings than usual.**

**Battlefield Comiket**

**Day of Comiket, 9:50**

_How did it come to this? Where did we go wrong?_

Konata dashed through the stands, dragging Hiyori along with her. Turning a corner, the pair stopped to calm their pursuer's shouts had gotten fainter away now. That was good.

"Senpai! We can't just leave her! We have to turn back!"

"NO! If you turn back now, you're done for! I won't lose you so easily!"

Having stopped the junior's suicide, Konata looked at her watch.

_Only 10 minutes left... We can do this._

Looking at the other girl one last time, Konata began moving.

"Let's go."

**16 hours ago**

"You sure you wanna do this?" Kaito Tamura said. "Enthusiasm for your work is fine, but breaking into Comiket the night before is no laughing matter."

"Yes, I am sure. It will be dangerous, but it is the only way we can beat the Kita High circle. Besides, you too did it once." His sister replied, determination blazing in her burgundy eyes.

"I understand. There is nothing I can do to stop you now." Kaito released a sigh of defeat. "But make sure you bring help! The mere act of engaging Comiket is insane, doing it alone is commiting Harikiri."

"Patty-chan and Izumi-senpai have both agreed to help me. With our powers combined, we will succeed."

"Good. Now, you better go ahead and prepare." The brother felt a smile form on his lips as the young mangaka moved towards her room.

"Oh, and sis?"

"Yeah?"

"Come back with One Piece, okay?"

"Of course."

The door between them closed, and Kaito sighed once more.

"You have faith in your companions, youngster, but that isn't enough on it's own. They need to be able to deliver as well. Izumi's fine. I know her, Meito would never shot up about her ever since she appeared back then. She knows what she's getting into. Martin, on the other hand. I need to make sure she is prepared."

Inside the room, Hiyori gathered the neccesary equipment for the trip. Pen and paper, 4 bottles of water, emergency rations and of course her brilliant work. Good, everything was here.

Time to call the partners in crime and make sure they're ready.

First up was Senpai.

"Konata speaking."

"Ah, senpai. This is Hiyori. Are you ready for tonight?"

"Of course! I am so fired up!"

"Good. We can do this!"

"ROAR!"

"See you in 4 hours!"

Ending the call, Hiyori sighed. So now, two of the three components were in place. Next was Patricia Martin.

"The number you called was busy. Please try again later" A synthetic voice replied.

_Weird, Patty-chan doesn't get that many calls. Oh well, I'll just have to try later._

Letting out a yawn, Hiyori decided to get some shut-eye before the big rig. While they had planned to get some rest once they got in, it wouldn't do to fall asleep on the job. Setting the alarm to make sure she wasn't late, the schoolgirl went to bed determined to succeed.

**3½ hours later**

Hiyori arrived early at the scene. It wouldn't do for the main schemer to be tardy. They had planned to meet up at Tokyo Big Site 10 o-clock, but Hiyori had arrived already at 9:30, equipment ready. Naturally, she was racked with nerves now that she actually stood in front of the titanic building.

_This is it. Okay, Hiyori, take a deep breath. Go through the plan again. You go into the building, find a place to hide, and come out in the morning,ahead of schedule thus setting up faster thus selling faster thus selling more than those despicable Kita High's._

20 minutes later, Konata came running towards Hiyori. She was wearing a tighly packed backpack, a good sign since she was going to be their cook for the night.

"Hiyorin! Good to see you. Soon we will be within the glorious walls and feast in the holy halls of Comiket."

"Yes. Have you heard anything from Patty-chan? I kinda failed to contact her."

"No, I haven't... I was busy preparing for tonight. Do you know how hard it is to find something that be cooked within dark hallways that might not have electricity?"

"I can imagine. Still, she was even more enthusiastic about this than you were. I can't imagine what might keep her coming early."

15 minutes later again, Hiyori got her answer. What kept Patricia had obviously been trying to put that outfit on. She wore a long trenchcoat, probably filled to the brim with stuff (stuff Hiyori had no idea what was). Her backpack was similarily stuffed, and a large, wooden handle was sticking out of the zipper.

"I'm sorry I'm late! I had some trouble getting everything to fit in here!"

"It's okay, Patty-chan." Hiyori said, eager to begin the operation. "Now, let's move towards the entrance!"

"Patty-chan, you do remember that this is a stealth mission, right?" Konata commented. "There shouldn't be a need to bring a yaoi paddle, I fear it might actually slow us down."

"That might be the case, but we never know. If we need it, it would suck not to have it. Besides, it's great fun once Comiket actually starts."

"I never get used to your tastes, Patricia-chan. No matter, off we go!"

Their first obstacle was a huge padlock blocking the gate. Naturally, this was once of those obstacles one had expected. A quick picklock from Konata, and the gates of Tokyo Big Site were wide open. Quickly passing through, the next challenge was much harder.

A digital lock.

"Ugh, I knew it wouldn't be as easy as I thought. How are going to pass this one?" Hiyori asked, realising that her plan wasn't that well thought out.

"I vote for a bypass. Let's see if we can find a way around it." Patricia answered, having known the problems of the plan all along.

However, Konata shot that idea down.  
"There is no other way, at least not one that isn't guarded with a similar lock. We could try breaking through a window, but I am sure they have set up alarms. We don't want them to realize we are here."

A moment of silence erupted as everybody tried to think of the best way to proceed.

"Would a guard carry a key to this?" Hiyori asked the obvious question.

"That wouldn't be enough. This baby needs a key and a code to open." Konata gave the expected answer.

"So... We capture a guard, take his key and interrogate the code out of him?" Patricia asked, trying to bring the group closer to the answer.

"Nah, that is too much trouble, too hard and creates too much noise." Konata continued with her newfound ability to shoot ideas down. "I have another idea, tough. Good thing you brought your paddle anyways, Patty-chan."

A few minutes later, a guard moved through the door, unlocking it as he did. When he left, he counted on the automatic lockingsystem to do it's work.

The girls wouldn't allow that, however.

With a quick insertion of a piece of wood, the door stopped moving right before it would have been closed.

Making sure the guard had left, the amatuer thieves sprung forth from the bushes in which they were hiding and quickly entered where the guard had left.

"And we're in. I would burst out the campagne, folks, but we aren't done yet." Konata congratulated "Not to mention that you guys are underage."

"Now, we need to find a good hiding spot." Hiyori stated. It was clear that they had already suceeded in her mind.

"How about that closet?" Patricia suggested as a jest.

"Nah, I don't wanna come out of the closet again." Konata repsponded. "Besides, I doubt the guards check every room. As long as we're quiet, I think we can use a small one of those."

"And they have weak locks as well. Good, it is settled then." Patricia concluded.

Happily finding a little sideroom empty, the girls managed to break into it without much effort on their part. Patricia was correct about the locks.

They relaxed, locked the door behind them, and settled for a quiet night in Tokyo Big Site.

**Day of comiket, 8:57**

"And that's why it stinks."

11 hours had passed since the girls first broke in, and they had loosened/slept alot.

"I think I'll take a look outside. I need to know where I should place my stand." Hiyori stood up and moved towards the door.

"Be careful out there!" Konata said.

"Of course."

When Hiyori had snuck out of the room, Konata turned to Patricia.

"So, care to tell me why you are so on guard?"

"W-What do you mean?" The blonde stuttered, surprised at the sudden inquisition.

"Come on, _great fun at Comiket_? That paddle is reinforced with carbon fiber. There is entirely new baseball bats that hits softer than that thing."

Patricia sighed. "I guess your right... The truth is - 

**Back to Hiyori**

_Hmm, I think this is the place. It's a good spot, actually. A central placement and room for lots of buye-._

Hiyori's thoughts were broken by the sound of footsteps. It was a sound she had heard several times tonight, so she knew what boots made that particular sound.

A guard was coming in her direction.

And there was nowhere to run, nowhere to hide.

_Oh crap._

Hiyori spent a few precious seconds figuring out the best course of action.

Her conclusion?

Dash past him and hope he doesn't notice.

It didn't work.

"Hey, stop running!"

Ignoring the guard's command (does anyone ever listen to them?), Hiyori rushed towards the room were Konata and Patricia were hiding.

"Guys, we've got company!"

It took them a splitsecond to understand just what was going on, and then they heard the guard.

Quickly diving for her bag, Patricia pulled forth a water pistol from her trenchcoat, and tossed it to the raven-haired girl.

Hiyori was dumbfounded.

"Water? Against guards?"

"Not just water. Lemon juice. A shot to the eyes will incapacitate them for long enough."

And that was all the advice that Hiyori got, since the guard had now caught up with her and grabbed her right arm.

"Where do you think you are going, young lady?"

Instead of a reply, Hiyori shot him in the face.

Based on his screaming and cursing, lemon juice stings.

"Let's get out of here!" Hiyori shouted.

"Way ahead of you" was Konata's reply. Truth be told, she was. The girl moved with the speed of wind.

As Patricia ran past the guard, she noticed him trying to call for help.

_Heh, can't even catch some teenage girls without reenforcements_

Since that was the exact opposite of what they wanted, she kicked the radio out of his hands. It wouldn't stop him in the long run, but it would delay the inevitable.

Running past a janitor, the girls tried to find a new, probably temporary hiding space. Patricia found it. A closet.

"A closet." Konata stated the obvious. "Is that really the best we can do?"

"Well, unless you have any other ideas. We might be able to hold them off for some time and figure out what we should do from now on." Patricia answered, not too keen on the closet herself.

"No time to waste, in we go!" Hiyori took the decision for them.

Having been psuhed into the closet, the girls were cramped. However, there were more important things to talk about.

"So, what do we do now?" Hiyori whispered.

"I think we should call your brother. He has more experience in these matters." Patricia answered, using the same volume as the girl who started it all.

Understood, just give me a se-" Hiyori was interrupted by a guard shouting "I think they ran this way!", and the sound of running feet passing them by. Wisely, Hiyori stayed quiet until the halls were as well.

"Just give me a second, I need to get my phone out of my pocket" She finished. When she finally got the damned thing out, she thankfully noted that the reception wasn't bad.

"Hey sis, this is Kaito. Got any problems?"

"How did you? Oh yeah, caller ID." Hiyori whispered into the phone. "But yes, we have trouble. We got caught and are currently hiding in a closet. What should we do?"

"See, I told you it was dangerous!" He sounded aggrevated, but Hiyori knew that this was just his way of worrying. "Ugh, now, all you can do is to avoid getting caught until people get there. When hundreds of otaku come flooding in through the gates, you'll easily disappear in the crowds. I am currently standing in line so that I can get in, legally, so you have to do it on your own. Good luck."

"Wait, how are we supposed to-"

Kaito had hung up.

"I guess he didn't want to distract us..." Hiyori murmered. She looked at the watch on her phone.

9:23. 37 minutes left until the gates were opened.

"Guys, I think I heard something from the closet!" Their actions had caught one of the guards' attention, and that meant trouble. The footsteps closing in also meant that the other guards believed their friend.

Unwilling to just sit by and get caught, Patricia bursted forth from the closet, her battlecry stunning the guard. A screaming blondie jumping out of a closet was the last thing he expected to see when he went to work this afternoon.

Taking the few seconds his amasement gave her, Patricia reached into her backpack and pulled forth a small clothbag.

"Run girls! We need to get out of here!" She shouted to her partners in crime as she opened the bag and let loose a veritable hell of small marbles in the guard's direction.

Konata and Hiyori didn't think twice about following her command.

Cliché as it was, the marbles worked. The guards had to either watch their step or fall on their tails, giving the Ryou High students a vital lead.

"But can we old them off long enough?" Hiyori began to lose hope. "37 minutes is a long time..."

"We can do it." Konata assured her. "It takes more than a thousand guards to take us three down!"

"Besides, it's only 36 minutes now." Patricia added with a smile on her face.

"Thanks guys. I am so glad I brought you along."

"Think nothing of it."

Turning down a hallway, the girls realised that the guards were gaining on them.

"Patricia, got any marble bags left?" Konata asked, seeing the effectiveness of the first one.

"No, I had no idea that would actually work," Patricia inhaled, exhausted by the running, "so I only packed one."

"Darn."

"So, what can we do to stop them?" Hiyori questioned. "Konata, you might be able to outrun them all, but there's no way that Patricia and I can keep up."

"I see your point." Konata admitted. "Got anything else in that magic bag of yours, Patricia? The best I've got is a spoon, and I doubt it is going to help much."

"Well, I've got water guns for all of us. If we could enter somewhere with only one entrance, we might be able to hold them off."

"Would a toilet count as such a place?" Hiyori asked.

"I think so, but getting out of there will be tough." Patricia answered. "However, I don't think we have much of a choice either. Just make sure we take the girls bathroom, okay?"

Konata cracked a smile. "Aww, but haven't you ever wondered what lurks on the other side?"

They quickly changed directions towards the bathroom. Konata had been in this building twice a year since they started using it, so finding the closest was no challenge.

The guards kept creeping closer and closer to the girls, but they still made it in time. They also closed the door for good measure. Hiyori kept her gun aimed at eye-level while Patricia armed herself and Konata.

"I've also packed some extra lemon juice, in case any of us run out." 

"Good, now all we need is a rousing speech, and we're set for a siege."

"Patricia, time." Hiyori asked, not taking her eyes off the door.

"28 minutes left. I am afraid I haven't got enough juice to keep them out for that long."

"Besides, some of them can probably get through here even with burning eyes, so keep that paddle ready, Patricia." Konata added, as she too drew her gun and aimed at the door.

There was a brief moment of silence, and the door was bursted open as the first guard tried to enter.

It turned out that Hiyori was a surprisingly good shot, nailing him straight in the eyeballs.

But while the first guard flung back screaming "MY EYES!", a second quickly took his place.

And almost he immedietly behaved the same way due to Konata shooting him.

The third, however, got through despite Konata's and Hiyori's attemps, only to be forcibly pushed back by a yaoi-imprinted rowing-device wielded by Patricia Martin.

Covering for each other this way, they actually managed to hold them off for some time, with Patricia singlehandedly stopping the guards when the others needed to reload.

But, after roughly 10 minutes of painstakingly pushing red-eyed guards away, it was clear that the girls were getting tired.

"Patricia, we need to get out. We can't hold them off much longer." Konata said, saying what they all thought.

"I know, but the only entrance is blocked by the guards. We can't get out without..." Patricia began to mumble as she began to truly understand what they needed. "I will get us out of here."

Konata's eyes shut open as she guessed what Patricia was planning. "Don't even think about it!"

"I am going to distract them. While they are chasing me, or busy trying to capture me, you guys sneak off."

"There has got to be another way!"

"There probably is, but..." Patricia gaze wandered as she reminisced an earlier phonecall. "I promised that I would keep Hiyori safe through all of this. And I have no intent on going back on a promise!"

Patricia pointed her paddle at Konata. "That promise is now passed on to you, Senpai. Keep Hiyorin safe for 18 minutes, understood?"

"We can't talk you out of this, can we?" Konata felt a tear forming in her eyes.

"No, you can't."

Deciding that now was the critical moment, Patricia threw off her trenchcoat. With a defiant fire blazing in her eyes she charged the guards.  
"I am Patricia Martin! I have traveled across the Pacific Ocean to fight on this battlefield! I have faced countless of dangers. _I _have openly admitted liking NarutoXSasuke to the common folk. _I _have made sense of FLCL! _I _have endured Mars of Destruction! You think you are a match for me? Then bring. It. On!"

This got the guards' attention. One even bowed her head in respect.

As expected, Patricia kept them at bay. Actually, there was a ferocity Konata and Hiyori had not seen in their entire lifes. They didn't sneak out like originally planned. The guards were distracted enough to allow them to run like bats from Hell were chasing them on motorcycles.

**Day of Comiket, 9:58**

"Do you think she is okay, Senpai?" Hiyori asked worried. Seeing your best friend throw herself into a swarm of enemies to save your skin tended to do that.

"Of course she is." Konata reassured her again. A role she seemed to be given often. "You heard her yourself. Even a thousand guards wouldn't take her down. Now, let us move again."

Tired, both physically and mentally, they moved around the block. Soon, the gates would open... Soon, Patricia's sacrifice would be complete.


End file.
